How to create a terrible application process
If you’re looking to not attract new clients, make your team miserable, or maybe just implode your process altogether - I don’t blame you. It’s been a tough year. I’ve pulled together some tips for doing just that.
For the more optimistic bunch, this list of tips will help you know what NOT TO DO.
Ask for everything all at once
Applicants love being asked for 15+ things at once. Especially if there is little to no context given with the checklist. It’s sort of like a treasure hunt for them or the Technical Challenge in the Great British Bakeoff.
The ol’ bait and switch
Just when an applicant thinks they’re almost done with the process, you can reveal a new secret checklist with more work for them. It’s like being given a new homework assignment as soon as you turn it in to the teacher.
Double enter everything
We could all use a little typing practice. Why not input all the information your client provides you into Salesforce or an excel sheet after they provide it?
Give your personal phone number out to clients
What’s the worst that could happen?
You can double enter all the texts you send somewhere else too!
Collect everything over email
You get extra points for every misspelled document attached, a new person is added to the email thread, and the question of “did you get my last email?” is received.
Never provide updates
Don’t worry about it. Surely your clients are patient...
Ok, I’m sorry. I can’t finish this blog post. Please don’t follow any of these suggestions. We’ve helped lenders around the country beef up their application process and we’d love to help more folks in the economic development space enjoy their job.
If this article was cathartic for you and/or way too real, let’s chat!